CAN’T MAKE IT TO THE POLLS? VOTE WITH YOUR STOMACH

// October 30th, 2008 // Hott News

got bread?

Could this be the future of our democracy

By John Charles Reedburg

The only thing needed for the ballot is butter and jelly.

At the Feel Good Bakery in Alameda, California, they’re now stenciling on the faces of presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain, and letting patrons decide which loaf they’d like to take home. According to Rick Kellner, the owner of the bakery, the Obama loaves are outselling McCain loaves by 8 to 1.

We humbly suggest the Feel Good Bakery move into breakfast fare: Barack Bagels and McCain Muffins would allow us to be politically active and also keep our blood sugar up in the mornings.

This mirrors 7-Eleven’s promotion with McCain and Obama coffee cups, Every Cup Counts, which lets the convenience chain customers pick their next presidential choice by choosing between a McCain and Obama cup. According to that method, Obama is winning, 60 percent to 40 percent.

In our ultra-consumerist society, this could be the future of democracy. Voting means you have to register, go wait in a line in a depressing place and talk to old people working the polls, and at the end all you get is a sticker and maybe a free donut.

But what if instead we voted by buying stuff? We could vote for change by picking up an Obama LCD HDTV.

Now you can see every blade of grass on the field — that’s change you can believe in, or with a McCain riding lawn mower (”Country first, and a well-kept lawn a close second”).

Vote now with Zero Cash Down!*