wtf

MY BIG FAT MEXICAN WEDDING

0 Comments 02 November 2008

MY BIG FAT MEXICAN WEDDING

does size matter?

“I have a wife and will form a new family”

By John Charles Reedburg

How can this dude get a wife and I can’t? Damn! I need more game.

Monterrey, Mexico — The world’s heaviest man has tied the knot.

MANUEL URIBE, who hasn’t left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend CLAUDIA SOLIS Sunday in northern Mexico.

Wearing a white silk shirt with a sheet wrapped around his legs, Uribe smiled as Solis, 38, walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless ivory dress, a tiara and hot-pink lipstick.

He later broke into tears as a notary declared the couple husband and wife in a civil ceremony attended by more than 400 guests. For the traditional first dance as newlyweds, Uribe and Solis held hands and swayed to a romantic ballad.

A popular local norteno band played accordion-heavy tunes at the reception, which featured a banquet of meat and buttered vegetables.

Uribe’s mother, ORQUEDIA GARZA, said the groom steered clear of the five-tier wedding cake.

“He didn’t break his diet,” she told The Associated Press. “His doctors are here and they are watching him very closely.”

The wedding, which was closed to most media, will be featured in an upcoming Discovery Channel documentary on Uribe, the 43-year-old former mechanic said.

“I have a wife and will form a new family and live a happy life,” Uribe told hordes of reporters earlier as they followed him through the streets of Monterrey.

A flatbed truck was brought in to tow his custom-made bed decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows to the wedding at a local event hall. Two police patrol cars escorted him ahead of a long line of traffic.

Uribe tipped the scales in 2006 at 1,230 pounds (560 kilograms), earning him the Guinness World Record as the world’s heaviest man.

He has since shed about 550 pounds (250 kilograms) with the help of Solis, whom he met four years ago.

Uribe said he’s gunning for a new title: world’s greatest weight loser.

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