OK. This is hilarious.

Check out this funny little bit I seen on YouTube.

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Check out this new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.

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”I’d definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked. I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture.”

Recording artist Kanye West performs on stage during Z100’s Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden on December 12, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Scott Gries/Getty Images)

By John Charles Reedburg

Yeezy, please. Don’t do anyone, any favors.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Wow, I’d really love to see KANYE WEST naked?” If your answer is no, you’ll be sad to hear you might be subjected to a nude West sometime in the future.

In the February issue of Vibe magazine the rapper says posing naked is something he’d love to do in the next few years:

”I’d definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked. I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture.”

Obviously, modesty is not West’s best trait. And since when is posing nude breaking any rule in black or American culture? It’s been done, many times.

The rapper also made it clear that pleasing his fans is the last thing on his mind:

”I want the freedom of having less fans. It’s like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility. It’s like Bjork. If she wanted to pose naked, you’d be like: ‘Oh,that’s Bjork.’ But if I wanted to pose naked, people would draw all types of things into it.”

No, Kanye, I think we’d just wonder why you’re posing naked. Just like how at this very moment I’m wondering why you just compared yourself to an Icelandic woman with an odd sense of style. Damn, maybe 50 Cent is right. Kanye might be a little more in touch with his feminine side than we think.

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They eventually took the fight into the alley, where Lohan yelled at Ronson, “When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!”

By John Charles Reedburg

Blah. Blah. Blah.

There are some definite perks to being a celebrity on New Year’s Eve, mainly an open invitation to awesome parties. But, if you’re LINDSAY LOHAN and SAMANTHA RONSON the only way to properly ring in the New Year is with a screaming match and a fistfight.

According to the New York Post the couple was hosting a New Year’s Eve party at Mansion in Miami’s South Beach when they started screaming at each other. They eventually took the fight into the alley, where Lohan yelled at Ronson, “When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!”

As if that wasn’t enough, the two apparently went back to their hotel room where more screaming and crashing sounds could be heard outside. According to an unnamed source Lohan and Ronson came out of their room at about 11 a.m. only to continue fighting, this time punching each other in the hallway.

The New York Post also reports that Lohan dropped to her knees at one point and asked, “Why are you doing this to me?” to which Ronson responded, “I don’t know you.”

Eventually hotel security was called and they arrived to take photos of the allegedly “trashed” room. Hours later the couple caught a flight to Los Angeles looking haggard. A rep for Lohan confirmed that there was an argument but stated “I don’t know the details, but they left for LA together and it’s fine.”

Still, Access Hollywood reports that the New Year’s Eve fight ended in the couple’s break up, and that Lohan is moving out of the home she shared with Ronson to live with her sister.

Either way someone should tell Lohan that if she storms off angry and no one follows her, going back and yelling at your girlfriend to follow you is kind of desperate. Here’s video of Lohan v Ronson at Mansion on New Year’s Eve:

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A WILDLIFE PARK in South Africa is offering tourists the opportunity to get up close and personal with crocodiles underwater.

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By John Charles Reedburg

Wow-sers!

And that’s all I have to say. LOL!

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By John Charles Reedburg

Cute but weird.

A British zoo is celebrating the birth of a rare pygmy HIPPOTAMUS on Monday by inviting visitors to vote on its name. The zoo has selected four names to vote for: Loko; Kadina; Zimmi; and Lola.

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By John Charles Reedburg

A jealous rampage did the right way. Wow-sers!

Officials at Australia’s Monarto Zoo say that a male white RHINO escaped its enclosure in search of its mate, who was preparing to mate with another male.

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“The almost two mile run raised money”

A group of Santa’s speed off at the start of the Wendy’s Great New Zealand Santa Run at Viaduct Harbour on December 10, 2008 in Auckland, New Zealand. The Wendy’s Great New Zealand Santa Run is a 3km fun run to raise money for charity.

By John Charles Reedburg

OK. Why only the one reindeer?

Auckland, New Zealand was overly festive yesterday as over 300 RUNNERS, JOGGERS and WALKERS decked out in full-on Santa garb showed up for the first ever Wendy’s Great New Zealand Santa Run.

The almost two mile run raised money for the charity Cure Kids, which funds worldwide research into life-threatening childhood illnesses. Although the good-natured fat man from the north would definitely get behind a good cause, I’m not so sure he’d run for it. After years of munching cookies, he might not be able to make it the two miles.

The event’s $25 entry fee included a Santa hat and for an extra $10 a runner got the full Santa suit. Still, at least one person decided the Santa suit was just not cool enough and instead sported a Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer suit. There’s nothing wrong with being different.

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Eshmel is putting the perfume out in bottles that are “provocatively designed to…”

EMESHEL unveils their new line of fragrances in Miami’s Design District during Art Basel. What’s interesting is Emeshel has designed the fragrance bottles to represent the male and female sexual organs.

By John Charles Reedburg

OK.

Not sure I’m intrigued or offended.

Hungarian glass-maker ESHEMEL debuted of two brand new scents in Miami today, delivered in some, ah, interestingly designed containers. According to perhaps the most hilarious press release of 2008, the Budapest-based company is putting the perfume out in bottles that are “provocatively designed to resemble the human sexual organs, taking the art of perfumery to a whole new dimension of artful sensuality and symbolism.”

For women there is Nubia, named for the ancient Egyptian state, and pictured on the right. It comes in five different scents, ranging from Nubia Yellow to Nubia Rose. Pictured above is Nubia Violet, which reportedly “brings the fresh, waggish notes of the fruit-bearing harvest, complete with ripe grapes, sun-kissed blackberries, mulberries and hints of green apple, peach and sea breeze.” A 4.2 oz bottle will set you back $125.

On the left is Rajul, named for the ancient Arabic word for “man.” According to the press release, Rajul “tells the story of an aroma representing the power of the Grand Seigneur of Arabia. After reaching the coast from the desert at dawn and leaving the vast sand dunes of the cool Arabian night, you are touched by the fragrance of the wet wind and the endless water.” The bottle design is “purposely shaped in the form of a man’s most intimate sexual organ, honoring the power and masculine virility of his royal Arabian highness.” A 4.2 oz bottle of Rajul is comparatively cheap, coming in at $120 dollars.

So if you’ve ever been looking at genitalia and thought to yourself, “You know what, I want to smell like that,” get yourself down to Miami tout de suite. Also, whoever wrote the press release for this: you are not being paid nearly enough.

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